Detroit News
excerpt from October 31,
2000 AM Edition, Front Page
Devil's Night Gangland Massacre, over 30 Dead
Late last night 33 suspected mobsters were found dead near a burning vacated warehouse north of Wayne State University. A band of registered mutants were on hand when the police arrived, bearing witness to what was apparently a hit by another mutant gang. Apparently the two groups struggled but only after the slaying had taken place. However, the heroic mutants were able to detain four of the mutant gang for the police, including the reputed mobster assassin Shooter along with three lesser knowns, Slayer, Octal Fist, and Pterodactyl...
A water-powered entity some refer to as the "Mermaid", assisted by dampening the warehouse, allowing for an earlier entry and examination of the premises. The police quickly determined that the warehouse had housed some sort of Combine data center. It is suspected a rival gang or internal warfare prompted a theft by a paid group of mutants of the data center's hardware. This gang, already being referred to as the "Devil's Night Gang", was headed by a flaming pumpkin-headed mutant called Bogeyman...
The owner of the warehouse was found dead in the wee hours washed ashore on the Canada side of the river. His body is expected to be returned to US soil later today. While unofficial, sources deep within the department indicated it was an apparent suicide...
The police appear baffled by this strike, with no leads. The mayor has indicated that the force will "not rest" until whoever ordered the hit is discovered and arrested...
While the police had no comment regarding the heroic supers without whom there would be virtually no clues, the group included the recent arrival to Detroit known as The Captain. Also on hand was a shadowy figure referred to as the "Troll", who seemed to have some familiarity with the aforementioned Mermaid. Hamlet Laughton of the Laughton and Davis Agency, a private investigation firm in downtown Detriot, was also present and assisted the mutants...
excerpt from November 1, 2000 AM Edition, back pages of metro section
Reputed Mobster Cleared of Devil's Night Massacre
Vic Morrow, better known as Shooter, one of the figures arrested in connection with the Devil's Night Massacre, was cleared by police of those charges. It is suspected he was involved in some other criminal activities in the neighboring building but at this time there appears to be no indictment pending...
It is unknown at this time if he will be formally charged with attacking the heroes who apprehended him and others at the scene. The District Attorney's office has no comment...
Meanwhile, it has been learned that police have questioned one James Caruthers of the Detroit branch of the Blue Moon Investigations in connection with the slayings and apparent theft...
While officially listed as an urgent, all-hands-on-deck investigation, the Detroit News has found that the police have reassigned two detectives to other cases as well as five regular officers...
excerpts from
November 13,
2000 AM Edition, Front Page
Gangland Terror Conspiracy Foiled
Exclusive Coverage by Lisa Walters on Special Assignment
The plot thickens as more arrests and detainments are made in the wake of yesterday's pitched battle between the so-called "Duct Tape Squad" and the renewed Purple Hat Gang. Thanks to this new band of Detroit mutant vigilantes, led by The Captain, a would-be clear and present danger to the public has been averted, in spite of police cover-ups and lack of interest.
As many are aware, The Captain, Mermaid, the Troll, and the mysterious Rodin, along with local private investigator Hamlet Laughton, foiled the would-be gangland slaying aimed in the middle of a crowded Blessed Sacrament Cathedral at the Tocci family. A still-unknown mutant assisted them, someone referred to only as Sammy and who appears to have abilities to reshape his very body at will. According to informed sources, these heroes determined that the Purple Hat gang had reformed, led by now-deceased Sol Bernstein...
...the name "Duct Tape Squad" has been dubbed in response to the group's now-trademark duct tape restraint system, making this reporter wonder if an endorsement is in the offing...
...it appears that the Blue Moon agency's Detroit offices, now operated by Hamlet and Laughton Detective Agency, was instrumental in unearthing many of the details. According to well-placed sources, at least one detective of this agency ran a one-man crusade in linking Bernstein to Tocci...
...on the lighter side, there appears to be a beauty-and-the-beast romance brewing between the voluptuous Mermaid and the horrifying Troll - despite the lurking (stalking?) hunk Speedo Man...
Flaming Carrot Vows Justice
Flaming Carrot, long famed as Detroit's "common man's super hero", has thrown his hat, so to speak, into the ring and declared that he will bring the Devil's Night Gang to justice. FC was quoted at a local hot spot last night as declaring "Ut, Flaming Carrot is not afraid to take on pumpkin-headed man and his cronies. Bring them on! They will not escape my iron grip of justice as they have others. I am more experienced and have fought many monsters in my time." Shortly thereafter he unveiled his latest piece of free association poetry, "Leprechaun in Keychain Kitchen"...
...when asked later in the evening if he was referring to the Duct Tape Squad in regards to the Devil's Night Gang not "escaping" him, the Carrot responded, "I know not what this Duct Tape Squad is. If you mean good guys who have a pretty lady, a statue, a flying man, and ugly man in the group, they are not as hip as the Carrot and have no chance against a flaming pumpkin! Funny flying man in tights, though, make Flaming Carrot laugh, make me drink more beer and cheer life. But that not way to fight crime. I fight crime with grim determination and moxie! I fight crime with punches and weapons! No news story for the sad, vigilant Carrot, who flies by the night like a pigeon who has no crumb of bread! Ut!"
Satanic Cult Uncovered, Mayor Demands Explanation
Police found many mutilated and dead members of a satanic cult, which was apparently about to sacrifice young virgins in a strange appeal to a "Demon of Fire". Their actions were uncovered by the actions of an unknown young woman, the same one reputed to have fought vampiric mutants in Detroit earlier this fall. While the police have no comment on the woman and deny that they were caught unaware of this, both eye witnesses and internal sources in the police department indicate that in fact the police had no idea and this mysterious "vampire slayer" led them to the scene. Underscoring the often-tense relationship between the mayor's office and the police, Mayor Berry let loose with an undiplomatic "...heads will roll..." in an excoriating rebuke of the police department's failure to uncover this plot...coupled with similar failures by the department to uncover the Purple Hat Gang's plot, this spells trouble for Police Chief Gary Summers...
corrections from November 14, 2000 AM Edition, Page 21
Yesterday the name of Laughton and Davis Detective Agency, a subsidiary of Blue Moon Detective Agency, was misreported as Hamlet and Laughton. The Detroit News regrets any inconvenience.
excerpts from November 14, 2000 AM Edition, Front Page
Purple Hat Gang Collapsing
Exclusive Coverage by Lisa Walters on Special Assignment
It appears the Purple Hat Gang is already collapsing due to the work of the Duct Tape Squad. Numerous arrests and confessions by a small number of gang members, as well as the arrest of the ringleader, has resulted in the disintegration of this enclave of would-be terrorists...It has been reported that two of the cells, groups of terrorists, have voluntarily surrendered to the police, while at least three others have fled town. There are believed to be twelve cells...
...rumors indicate some gang members may still be operating; perhaps the notorious Tocci family should stay indoors!
Who Are the Duct Tape Squad (Page 2)
More Exclusive Coverage by Lisa Walters on Special Assignment
Led by The Captain, this strange team seems to have come out of nowhere to save the city from a threat it didn't know about...and it may be there's another member, a flying, glowing woman with some sort of strange mental powers; this mysterious figure was sited in action by unfortunate terrorist Purple Gangers who...
Detroit: Crime City? (Page 2)
...not only have the Toccis been reputed mob leaders, but now Detroit appears to have a criminal revenge terrorist group... Perhaps no better are Detroit's newest vigilantes, which appear to be a team consisting of a cannibal, a doppelganger, a damaging hulk of stone,... Apparently these so-called vigilantes, noted for their cruel and unusual attacks on Purple Hat Gang members, even when in custody, may have links to the mob...sited last night in a mob family restaurant with one of the suspected mafia dons, long-time Detroit resident Eduardo Tocci (see picture)...
Enough Vigilanteism - Goodbye to the Duct Tape Misfits (Page 10) - Special Editorial for the Detroit Edition by Mr. J. J. Jameson, CEO of Murdoch-Jameson Papers America
I'm bronco-busting mad at these MUTANTS (read: inhuman freaks) who believe they're too good for the United States Constitution. In this very paper you can read flattering representations of these mob-hired goons by none other than so-called crusader Lisa Walters. Now, while I hesitate to question her credentials, let's say this time her thinking has been clouded by the possibility of more publicity and her flying buddy The Captain (AKA The Amazing Useless Man)!
Okay, now you Walters fans are out there ready to write your letters, but check out the other stories in this well-established bastion of truth. These duct-taping mutants were sighted with EDUARDO TOCCI - were they imprisoning him for his reign of misery in this city? No, they were toasting him, breaking bread with the enemy of Detroit. Did these flesh-eating freaks (okay, only one is flesh-eating the so-called Troll, AKA the Cannibal) help the police? No, they may have ruined months of careful investigation by recklessly forging ahead WITHOUT involving our police department. Our police may not be perfect, but they can not do their job if citizens don't come forward. Instead, these self-appointed "guardians of justice" (ha!) decided to take leaders of the Purple Hat Gang into their dungeon and brutally terrorize them for hours. They let the alleged HEAD OF THE GANG escape in their ineptness! Thankfully, this gangster was even more dull-witted than the Duct Tape Misfits. In any case, last I knew, the US Constitution did not allow people to beat the truth out of suspects! Yet it appears these goons have scared the police into accepting these inadmissible "statements". As if that weren't enough, the case against the Purple Hat Gang is hindered by the mutants turning THEIR OWN KIND into the federal authorities, bypassing the District Attorney's office.
No doubt their depraved indifference (which is ILLEGAL) will provoke counter-attacks by the Purple Hat Gang that otherwise would simply have been directed at the Toccis - oh, my, big loss there! I respectfully call for this city to treat the Duct Tape Misfits like the GM Godzilla and dynamite them into tomorrow!!!! If you agree with me, call Mayor Yo I-am-not-a-crook Berry and insist on it.
excerpts from November 23, 2000 Today's Detroit magazine, profile of the Justice Squad
...now known as the Justice Squad - a self-chosen name - this latest addition to Detroit's meta-vigilantes burst on the scene battling a menace largely unknown to the city, the would-be terrorists the Purple Hat Gang...
The apparent link to the Blue Moon Agency, the Laughton and Davis branch, makes one wonder if the Blue Moon is now contracting out to meta-humans! In any case, this investigation has led us to the conclusion that unofficial communication with the Justice Squad can be had via the Blue Moon, though our own attempts were rebuffed...
excerpts from November 25, 2000 Detroit News AM Sunday Edition
More Drug Wars in Detroit?
Although many expected a more peaceful Detroit after the decline of the Purple Hat Gang, recent developments in the underworld paint an uglier picture. It appears that the East Coast syndicate, often linked to businessman Wilson Fisk, is attempting to muscle in on reputed crime boss Eduardo Tocci's territory...
Frozen Man to be Thawed?
It appears the Neanderthal recently found in a block of ice may in fact be alive and his strange reactions in the wake of being thawed not merely a strange set of nervous reactions by a long-dead brain. While he has expressed no communication abilities, it's leaked from government labs that his behavior has grown to a new set of activities, including the choice of lab doctors - those he doesn't like he spits at while those he likes he attempts to caress! Not only that, but he seems to be insisting on eating only ice cream! What a nutty Neanderthal...
excerpts from November 27, 2000 Detroit News Special Monday Edition
Daredevil Unmasked!
The formerly mysterious man of bravado has been unmasked, prompting this special release of the Detroit News. And it's quite a revelation - he's Matt Murdock, legally blind legal counselor for the poor. The remarkable news is that he truly is blind. No evidence has been found of how he has operated as the vigilante named "Daredevil" for the last several years...
The grandfather of modern mutant heroes, Spiderman, could not be located for comment...
...and Daredevil is perhaps best known for his virtual inability to decline a challenge. When Mirror Man challenged him to appear in his cross-hairs few can forget his strange ability to dodge the bullet after it had been fired, as captured in the high-speed film now considered the most viewed film in the world...
Murdock, as expected, has disappeared, as has close personal friend Judy Bastion. But indisputably he appeared briefly as Daredevil early in the morning, swinging from building to building and issuing the pronouncement in the form of graffiti left on several crack dealers' foreheads, "Never Afraid."...
excerpts from November 28, 2000 Detroit Free Press
Justice Squad Cares About the Environment - Fritz Cunningham's Corner
I'm pleased to bring you this new column, where I'll have the opportunity to keep you up on paranormal activities the so-called mainstream media is afraid to bring you...
Through careful research I was able to follow the Justice Squad as they responded to the chemical emergency on Belle Isle Monday evening. And it turns out they're not such a bad crowd at all. When they encountered the massive ugly seemingly chemical-spewing hulk that you've all already heard of from your morning TV and radio (hey, I know the truth!) they didn't jump to killing it. Instead, in spite of government intervention to the contrary, they shepherded it to its natural habitat. And we ALL were rewarded by this act of unselfish compassion as the creature healed the forest from whence it came. I personally saw several small animals COME BACK TO LIFE!
And I can tell you that based on reliable sources, the government was involved to cover up the mess that ABC Corporation created - that's right, it's not a misguided comment by Hamlet Laughton, Detroit's strangest detective. In fact, I have it on good authority that ABC paid the government through donations made to the Points of Light Foundation, later laundered into certain senators' pockets. Of course I can't name names yet - but believe me I will, stay tuned for future Cunningham's Corners.
excerpts from November 29, 2000 Detroit News AM Wednesday Edition
Megaton Man Saves Texas!
A new mutant hero has entered the world - in grand style. Calling himself Megaton Man, a mysterious cloaked stranger has been verified as having stopped a "small" asteroid that did not break up as expected in the atmosphere and threatened to devastate a large portion of Texas.
In some ways he represents the Lone Star state as he's larger than life himself. When asked where he came from, he simply responded, "Shucks, I come from a little ol' place called America, land of the free!" He appears capable of incredible sustained flight into the upper atmosphere and unheard of strength...
excerpts from December 5, 2000 Detroit News PM Tuesday Edition
Injustice Squad Interferes with Government Operations (Page 10) - Special Editorial for the Detroit Edition by Mr. J. J. Jameson, CEO of Murdoch-Jameson Papers America
If it weren't enough that the Duct Tape Misfits, AKA the Injustice Squad, has usurped the local police's role in their so-called war on "crime" (we'll cover that later), but they've even challenged Uncle Sam!
That's right, don't be fooled by nervous local reporters who pussyfoot around and need 50 sources to tell you that the sky is blue! I'm sure the Injustice Squad didn't lie about one thing - that the helicopter spotted over Belle Isle was federal. Of course it was! Who else flies black helicopters around in the middle of the night? Not Magneto - did anyone see any flying freaks other than our local weirdoes? No! Just Hamlet Laugh-a-ton and his Injustice Squaws.
And what did they do? They let a strange blob that endangered life and limb, after unleashing its chemicals all around Belle Isle and Lake Michigan, free by guiding it back to the scene of the crime. Then, when no doubt our government was armed and ready to protect us, they called in their sycophant media hounds and hid behind them! Boo-hoo, the big bad feds are going to blast an endangered killer blob. Boo-hoo-hoo! I don't blame the feds for giving in. After all, it's a democracy even if the mob is wrong. I say to hell with the mutant-hugging tree-hugging blob-hugging crowd!
But that's not the Injustice Losers' way. So here we are with a chemical sludge-bomb waiting to happen again. "But J. J.," you say, "didn't they stop that horrible Gang of Five?" Sure! And you want to know why? Eliminate the competition! That's right - they want Detroit ripe for the picking.
Proof? Lately they've been willing to turn in the bad guys who are easy to beat to the state. And they let the blob go - which, as bad as it is, isn't a criminal who competes with them. Hell - he's a good DISTRACTION for their crimes to come! But when the big bad guys are at question - oh better lock them up REAL GOOD! They WOULD have killed them had it not been for the heroic actions of Sheriff Fortner and his Deputy, Buddy Gob. They showed up and the heroes knew they wouldn't be able to cover up the massacre. So they managed to rouse the feds and next thing you know they've killed two birds with one stone - the Gang of Five is out of their way and they come up smelling like roses!
Wake up Detroit! Wake up America!
Front Page of December 15 Detroit News Special Edition
Mutant Manifesto Mutilates Man - byline J. Jonah Jameson on Special Assignment to the Detroit News
Mutant Activist Magneto shocked America as he declared the beginning of a mutant terrorist campaign, openly declaring war on the United States. The "manifesto", widely circulated through largely manual means (see page 23B for full text). The underground mutant movement, apparently with fuller instructions, responded in a well-choreographed move to establish a base of military operations in Arizona. Not so coincidentally, they are mere miles from a military base. Word has it that the Native American tribes on the reservation system are being solicited to assist in the mutant terror strike pending...
Front Page of December 16 Detroit News AM Edition
Justice Squad in Casino Fracas, 4 Dead
Last night the Justice Squad captured two mutant killers, Medusa and Shooter, as they disrupted the Riverside Casino in a killing spree...
Eye witnesses confirm the Justice Squad was on hand and prepared to stop the killers, but were unable to prevent at least some killings. The mysterious Medusa turned most of the team to stone but was stopped by the use of Rodin as a club by one presumed Sammy. Ironically Shooter was himself turned to stone by Medusa in the confusion of the battle!...
A strange figure appeared and attacked the Justice Squad, but escaped just as quickly as he appeared...
Informed sources in the police department report that the Justice Squad was somehow assisting the Detroit mafia, allegedly linked to the casino operations...the Justice Squad has declined all direct comment but credited the police department with helping them track down Medusa and Shooter...mixed stories have confounded all analyses of the situation, except for the fact that two dangerous killers have for whatever reason been brought to justice...
December 16 Editorial, Detroit Free Press
Magneto, the 21st Century Malcolm X, Fritz Cunningham's Corner
It's no mistake that Magneto's manifesto includes the phrase, "We will defend Ourselves by every method We have," a clear echo of Malcolm X' more elegant, "by all means necessary" phrase, the foundation of modern militant rights movements. In fact, Magneto's mutant separatism doctrine is remarkably similar to the Black Muslim credo popularized by the strident African-American politico-religious leader.
To some, this thesis is unthinkable, comparing the controversial but above-ground and religious Malcolm X to the underground and undoubtedly criminal and atheistic (or if we read carefully, more accurately agnostic) Magneto. Yet first and foremost, we must question our own "human" instinct to condemn and thus view differently that which is different. We should recall that Malcolm X faced many legal problems and many reactionaries in America considered him just as criminal as many do Magneto today. And if so many more of us consider Magneto so much more criminal - well, perhaps it's because he's simply that much more different than a militant "Negro" in the 1960s. But realistically, who is Magneto?
First, he's of a clearly spiritual and religious legacy. His philosophies hearken back more to a Gnostic thread of Western Civilization, one which recurs strongly every few hundred years. Witness his belief (as evidenced in documents other than the manifesto which everyone now knows) in edification through experience and the notion that to reach divinity one must aspire to be part of that same divinity. And his very method of public notice clearly recalls Martin Luther, and has had much the same impact on society, with people choosing sides and a new war, albeit social rather than religious, brewing.
Second, he's an embodiment of American independence - just as Malcolm X. What difference is there between "no taxation without representation" and the similar cries of Malcolm X and Magneto? All American revolutionaries share a view perhaps unique to our heritage; that we are unjustly tread upon not because our political, economic, or social situation is somehow bad or deprived, but rather that we are unjustly tread upon simply because we are not included! Granted, Marxist theory would accord this a simple capitalist icing on the cake of throwing off feudal vestiges, yet that "icing" speaks loudly to the cultural values of our country. Cultural values which clearly, in an essential way, Magneto shares...
Page 5 of December 18 Detroit News
Mutant Beats Humans in Texas, Claims Civil Rights Violation
A young mutant known as the Lobster Cowboy in Texas badly beat a number of high schoolers in what some call an unprovoked attack. However, the mutant boy, one Jason Corona, claims that although he suffered no injuries he was "defending himself" in a "hate crime" perpetrated by his high school peers. Witnesses indicate a prank was played on the lobster-like mutant though he appeared to be laughing and playing along. However, he claims this was his unique cries for help. In any case...
Front Page December 23 Detroit Free Press
What's Wrong with Texas?
From a capital punishment spree to
anti-gay hate crimes to mutant hate crimes, the home state of the president
elect seems to be awash with institutionalized murder and mayhem. Our
special report answers the question: "Why is Texas the way it is -
and is it Dubya's fault?"
Article excerpt from page 5
...and just two weeks ago Jason Corona, a mutant disfigured with lobster-like features, found himself not only defending himself against a gang of hostile youths, but even arrested for it!...
January 2001 Detroit Life Magazine
Point of Origin - special report by Lisa Walters
...As I speak with the civil government of Origin - which is apparently still unsure as to whether it's a city or a nation - I get the sense of excitement akin to that our Founding Fathers must have felt. Whether one considers the city illegal and its residents criminals, one cannot help but feel the thrill its leaders are experiencing. They are trying to recreate society itself, conducting a grand social experiment like none seen since at least the French Revolution. Of course given that historical precedent, we all wonder if the Reign of Terror is around the corner - as do some residents of Origin...
...The city government does have a sort of vigilante flavor, perhaps because that's the strongest legal experience mutants have had in our society, both as victims thereof and enforcers. They deputize at will and basically create posses to go round up the bad guys...
...While I wandered the modern boom town, I marveled at the strange juxtaposition of: water shortages and architectural miracles; children flying through the sky and grown pig-like men burrowing into the dirt as a make-shift bed; Magneto holding court and a human being pelted with garbage. I don't think they're making the desert bloom, rather it's more like they're making the desert reach critical mass...
...In conclusion, tears are in my eyes as I pack up to leave Origin; it's the last time I'll ever see it in person. It's a doomed experiment, an unruly mess intolerable to its host nation. Yes, they've "really started somethin'" here, but it's nothing they can control, and, I have decided, nothing desirable. It's a hermit's approach, a self-imposed reservation system. And when seen in that light, it's a dead end road. When I spoke with Magneto [ed. note - see ABC special broadcast this coming Tuesday at 8 AM/7 PM Central for the Walters/Magneto interview], he had a lot of answers - often before I asked my questions. I asked why Origin, or rather what it symbolizes, would succeed when every prior racial or pre-historical primate separatist movement has ended in ignominy or oblivion. I asked him why, assuming the mutants followed his path, 50,000 years from now the archeologists won't be scratching their heads wondering what happened to the mutant population as it now wonders about the Neanderthal. He answered simply, "Because we are right, and at times it is enough to be right." Good words for philosophers. Bad words for revolutionaries. Perhaps he was simply tired...
I must close with a brief open letter to the many mutants who watched over me and whom I had the good fortune to meet on this journey: Goodbye, my many friends in Origin. I hope to see you all soon, safe and sound, wherever you may end up. I hope for all your sakes that little guy was right when he said, "Follow the yellow brick road..."
Front Page of January 4 Detroit News
The Captain Skyrockets to Origin - byline Lisa Walters on special assignment to the Detroit News
After rounding out the rough edges of the Justice Squad, The Captain has left our motor city and seems to be a man on a mission. First stop: Origin. This reporter was fortunate enough to run into him while on assignment in Origin, finding a man of renewed confidence and vigor. As strange as it sounds, The Captain seems to be even more powerful - in fact, faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap...you get the picture.
It appears that The Captain wants to work with the mutants and the government, serving the public to find a solution. When asked why such a grandiose mission, his reply is simply, "Because it's what a protector of mankind does!" He seems unusually focused, yet at the same time more detached than ever...
January 5 World Weekly News
Amazonian Piranhas Plotting Revenge - farewell report by Manny Wulfenstein
Piranhas - space aliens - it's been reported in this very paper by myself that in fact piranhas are from outer space. And now they want revenge!
"We simply came here to live in peace," said one piranha to my Tsohon-djapa interpreter, "And now they're cutting down our forest, ruining our environment. So if we have to chew off every foot that enters the water, we will!" The piranha leader known to his school as Chaka-chaka was pig-biting mad as we spoke on that wet summer day...
Page 3, January 8 Detroit News
Death Squads in Origin?
Word leaking out of Origin has it that the cabal which runs the city has authorized a death squad to weed out "impurities" among the residents. Sources indicate that while the government is in disagreement about this tactic, the death squads have been formed and are fully authorized, following a secret code and executing star chamber trial system...
Page 3, January 12 Detroit News
The Captain Punishes the Punisher
In the wake of the melee in Atlanta, perhaps The Captain should be known as The General! For reasons still unclear bur rumored to involve a US government "lesson" for the Punisher, The Captain somehow ran across the Punisher in Atlanta. After a brief conversation, according to eye witnesses, the Punisher suddenly opened fire on The Captain, unleashing a force deadly enough to wipe out a battalion. The Captain withstood it, just staggering back a bit, and then slugged the Punisher, sending him flying for over a city block! Then The Captain pursued the rogue, fugitive agent and proceeded to slap him about, until the Punisher somehow slipped away or, according to some reports, The Captain hissed, "Let this be a lesson" and shoved him aside...
...of course local readers will recall The Captain as the upstanding leader of the Justice Squad, now themselves involved in some sort of underground doings...
Page 1B, January 17 Detroit News
Comet Comes to Detroit
The Comet, flamboyant Miami hero, has come to Detroit on vacation. Some reporters are fairly surprised by his choice of hosts - none other than the shady Justice Squad! While the Troll could not attend, the Comet took a photo opportunity with Spectrum, Sammy, Rodin, and the erstwhile follower and Squad agitator Hamlet Laughton, notable local private investigator. When asked his opinion of the JS, Comet quipped, "Well, sometimes justice is blind - so maybe they've stumbled a bit. But these super heroes are tops in my book, I've observed as they've fought some of Detroit's toughest criminals and matured in their fight against crime. It always takes us a while to find our own particular idiom!"
Page 3, January 25 Detroit News
Hometown Hero Consulting with Administration
With the crisis in the Mohave Desert escalating, the administration is consulting with the nation's top pro-government and non-aligned supers. Not the least of these is Detroit's own The Captain, who flew into Washington, DC, yesterday for what has surprised White House observers by turning into over 24 hours of non-stop secret talks, including direct talks with President Bush. Reliable sources report that The Captain has pledged to join in any military actions that may occur...
...Aides close to the president have indicated that "the Dubya" has taken a special liking to The Captain and the two have even made a golf date and plans for more consultations at Camp David, as soon as the Origin crisis passes...in a press conference the President attempted to make clear, in his customarily misspoken way, his view on federal use of mutants as deputies, as he stated, "There's nothin' wrong with vigilantism so long as it's properly authorized by the state."
Senior US Senator Levin was snubbed by The Captain in what some Washington insiders are calling a partisan alignment of The Captain with the Republican administration...
Page 29, February 1 Detroit Free Press
Elvis Presley Alive?
On the lighter side in these tense times, Detroit's Riverside Casino has overcome darker days and is hosting what has become a local celebrity - an Elvis impersonator! But this Elvis has a shtick all his own; he won't say who he really is, defending a secret identity, and thus fueling speculation among the rabid Elvis fan fringe that in fact Elvis never died...
...but most puzzling to fans and musicologists alike is this Elvis' precisely exact Elvis looks, parroting Elvis' appearance circa 1965, as well as the incredible voice. This Elvis sounds almost exactly like Elvis. In fact analysis of the sound waves of this Elvis and the original Elvis appear identical, though musicologists have found minute differences in phraseology. Still, it was formerly considered impossible for two people to share the same "voiceprints" - even twins do not...
Page 4, February 6 Entertainment Weekly
Detroit's Elvis
...Rumor has it none other than Michael Ovitz is seeking to get in touch with the enigmatic reincarnation of Elvis...of course this reporter knows he's not the real thing - after all, would Elvis come back to life in DETROIT? Mama didn't raise no fool...
Page 1, February 9 Detroit News
Situation Tense in the Desert
The cabal running the mutant town of Origin has defied Federal "last warnings" for negotiations as "Commissioner" Toad, acknowledged leader of the cabal, rejected any such negotiations without an immediate US acknowledgement of the mutant right to "be free - without restriction to the meaning of that word." President Bush called such talk a "smokescreen" and indicated any negotiations must be unconditional...
...reporters have been asked to leave Origin or remain "at their own risk" In Origin, reliable sources indicate that arms are being manufactured and hoarded; in some cases, due to the strange talents of the residents, these armaments are dangerously toxic and capable of widespread devastation. The administration has warned that in the event military actions occur, all residents of Origin will be held responsible for any collateral damage to neighboring cities and people...
Page 1, February 12, Detroit News
Origin Collapsing
The civil government of Origin has been overthrown by a heretofore unknown mutant known as "Killer Killer Killer", who claims the new government has a zero-tolerance policy for human intervention. It (the mutant is of indeterminate gender) has declared martial law in Origin and "all of the United States" and called upon sympathetic mutants to "strike without warning" as "necessary for defense". Apparently internal fighting has broken out as the cabal formerly running the government is attempting to regain power...
...Reports indicate a flood of mutants are fleeing Origin, hoping to avoid conflict. Due to the death squads and internal pressure, these fleeing mutants are escaping under cover of night and other devious means. Rumors abound that those attempting to flee who are spotted by the death squads, who support the new government of Killer Killer Killer, are killed on sight...
February 10 Parade Magazine
Page 12
Lawyer to the Mutants
As we sit in Suzanne Palmer's tastefully elegant condo in downtown Detroit, it's hard to believe this genteel, quiet woman is the same person representing America's outcast downtrodden. Yet as she speaks in her definite, confident tones, it becomes clear this is not a woman to mess with...
...despite her father's pressure (though Palmer refuses to comment on her familial relationships - "not germane"), the young legal scholar pursued an independent legal research and sometimes-attorney's career, trusting on the fortunes of increased courtroom and corporate legal outsourcing...
...her attentions now focused on helping those often incapable of otherwise getting adequate representation, Palmer's calm surface belays a nervous energy visible only upon close inspection. No doubt her mind races from client to client as she has eagerly taken on a number of what other lawyers call "lost causes". While Durshowitz calls her an "intellectual dynamo", others predictably decry her tenacity for representing the underdog as self-serving publicity seeking! I wonder what these same reporters would have said about John Adams after the Boston Massacre! Yes, Palmer serves a long and proud legal tradition.
Back Page Portrait
Don't Hate Them Because They're Successful...
Former model Ms. Maddy Hayes has a lot to be proud of - and a lot that others are envious of. Enormous success in the field of private investigation work has brought her praise; formerly no one thought that other than established security firms such as Pinkerton, a detective franchise could be national business. "Too risky", "too many liabilities". No doubt Maddy agrees with the latter - the Blue Moon Agency in Detroit alone has cost millions in legal fees!...
...commenting on the shared franchise in Detroit, the Blue Moon Agency/Laughton Agency, Maddy says, "Well, I'm quite happy with it. Sure, we've had some bumps, but you have to break an egg to make an omelet, right? Besides, I know Hamlin Laughton personally and believe me, he's straightening things out with the help of my personal assistant, James Caruthers..."
Page 1, February 14, Detroit News
Troops Mass in Yucca
Ominous storm clouds are gathering over the Mohave Desert as air force, marines, and army forces poise in case the situation deteriorates further in the Origin crisis...
...White House officials have no comment, and insiders refer to the largest deployment of military forces on American soil since the Civil War as "an insurance policy"...
Page 1, February 15, Detroit News
Daredevil - Dead?
The body of Matt Murdock has been found, apparently slain in a grisly murder on Chicago's Cicero neighborhood. Though conclusive evidence remains to be found, it is widely believed he was Daredevil. No clues have been left as to the identity of the assailant, nor even why his identity has been revealed...
Page 1, February 16, Detroit News Special Edition
WAR - ORIGIN VS USA!!!
Rockets lit up the night sky in Arizona, residents of Yucca were quickly evacuated late last evening, and The Captain has been seen battling Magneto over the early morning Origin sky - based on reports by Lisa Walters on special assignment in Origin for Murdoch Global Media Enterprises
Despite indications late last night that negotiations were about to commence, a battle now rages over Origin. Signs are that the community that was Origin is being totally annihilated. A small number of mutants have pledged to fight to the last man and have stalled the final government advance into the city. Artillery and aerial barrages were ceased as a cadre of special forces went into what was Origin to weed out the remaining assassins and partisan fighters. As many as 1,000 residents may be dead in Origin and, due to reprisals throughout the night, military losses are estimated by independent analysts as up to 2,500. Many believe that Magneto escaped and that The Captain is badly hurt. Nothing has been confirmed or denied by the administration, which has imposed a complete media blackout.
A national "state of emergency" was declared at 4 AM this morning as riots began in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Dallas, and Minneapolis. For the first time since the Civil War, the writ of habeas corpus has been suspended, a "state of rebellion" cited and executive powers being executed thereof as per historical precedent and what some considered implied powers under article 9 of the Constitution. However, that power is delegated to Congress according to most Constitutional scholars and a special session of Congress has been called to consider the appropriate steps. The administration is lobbying with an unusual frenzy to avert any crisis by receiving congressional affirmation, with the expectation that the unilateral executive action will be validated...
Page 1, March 28, Detroit News AM Edition
FISK AKA KINGPIN PROVEN CRIMINAL MASTERMIND
Justice Squad broke into gilded Glitterati Hotel NY to attack Kingpin - byline Charlie Jameson
Local mutant vigilante the Justice Squad followed a trail of violence and money to the heart of the East Coast mob organization - Wilson Fisk, proven to be the boss nicknamed Kingpin. And he's not merely the infamous crime boss - but he's also built one of the wonders of the modern world, a strange other-dimensional floor atop the Glitterati Hotel. No explanation is forthcoming from government officials or affiliated scientists. The Justice Squad somehow knew the mechanism of the strange space and caused a ruckus by blasting their way through the hotel and into the Kingpin's lair...
April 1, Parade
JUSTICE SQUAD - A REVEALING LOOK INTO THE CRIME-BUSTING HEROES' ORGANIZATION - a special report by Lisa Walters
While the Justice Squad is taking a well-earned respite from the public eye, I was fortunate enough to spend some time with Bob Rogers, unofficial spokesperson for the Justice Squad. We spent the better part of a leisurely dinner discussing the inner workings of perhaps the most extraordinary paranormal group of our time...
...[LW] The public is confused about who the Justice Squad really is and how they came to be a team. Could you tell us a little about that?
[BR] Well, for a number of reasons they don't like to talk about how they met - personal lives and all - but suffice to say the folks recognized a real opportunity to fight the worst of criminals by bonding together, something too few of those blessed with unusual abilities do today...
...[LW] So what role does the mysterious Laughton play? Is he the leader he lets on being or simply, as some accuse, an opportunist who plays dilettante with paranormals?
[BR] (chuckles) Oh, I suppose it's a bit of both, no offense intended to the self-proclaimed "world's greatest detective," though I think he's got quite a sense of humor about himself and won't mind me saying so. He helps the team a bit, providing some investigative muscle, if you will, to their arsenal of abilities. And he does have some skills in planning and such that they use from time to time. But I don't think the team really has a leader.
[LW] What of the Troll, who's lately taken more and more to speaking for the team as needed? He seems to have taken more of The Captain's old role that way. If there's no real leader, as you say, how do they make important decisions? I mean, what role does each one specialize in and how do they relate?
[BR] That's a good question. The Justice Squad functions by consensus, like any good small organization. The Troll is the most (Rogers smiles) - striking - of the group and as such becomes a focus of the press at times. So he rises to the challenge. He provides a clear uncompromising vision in the group, often a black-and-white one. Laughton on the other hand tends to see everything in many shades of gray and postulates deep complexities in every situation. The two of them are so analytical that they need a little perspective sometimes, and Spectrum, with her innate compassion and humanism, and Sammy, with his down-to-earth simplicity, balance the picture. I think you'll forgive me if I don't get into their specific skills - I mean, I'm sure it's not something that the Bogeyman should be able to read through at leisure, right? (laughs)
[LW] Yes, I can certainly understand that. But you didn't say anything about the strange ever-disappearing Rodin? Or yourself?
[BR] You've seen Rodin, right? Well, you know he doesn't speak! Really, none of us know much about him or how he works. He's a rather odd bird. And me!? I just help the guys out every now and then with interviews like this, that's about it.
[LW] But you've got deep pockets, and I think we all surmise that you help a bit with some financials.
[BR] (laughs) Oh, I might lend a few dollars now and again, but really it's nothing! Just don't ask to audit my tax returns! (laughs more)...
...[LW] So really, what happened with The Captain? Why the split?
[BR] The Captain himself has spoken about that. With his new-found power, he really is a one-man team. We respect that, and wish him well of course.
[LW] Now, Bob, we've all heard there's tension between the JS and The Captain. You must have heard some of the quotes I've unearthed, accusations of The Captain such as "glory hog" and "power-obsessed", while rumor from The Captain's friends indicate that the JS is cuts too many corners and is too often on the wrong side of the law for the straight-up Captain.
[BR] (frowning) But Lisa, you know what sells papers and how people like to talk, right? Besides...
Page 1, April 5, Detroit News AM Edition
KINGPIN RULED MUTANT
Kingpin Locked Up as "Class A" Mutant - (AP)
The Bureau of Human Determination and Analysis has ruled that the Kingpin is a mutant. A statement from the federal prosecutor, Ken Dowling, says, "Scientific evidence now proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that WIlson Fisk, known popularly as the Kingpin, is a Class A mutant, which means that he not only possesses massive non-human power, but understands and has demonstrated routine abuse of that power. Per the Paranormal Regulations Law of 1977 he is therefore remanded to a federal penitentiary as an unregistered Class A mutant. This case is closed. The people have won."
Defense attorney Norman Greenbauer's retorts, "This is clearly the case of a federal agency winking at their local buddy Giulianni and bypassing the democratic laws of our country. They know their case is full of holes, so they trump this up."
While Fisk's attorneys will continue to fight the case, they are severely hamstrung by this ruling. Kingpin's access to his lawyers is now considerably reduced as federal mutant penitentiaries are allowed to restrict even that contact greatly. And their first challenge will be to simply prove that Kingpin is not an unregistered mutant. Federal laws require that Class A mutants not be prone to any non-government experiments in the name of national security, meaning that no independent scientific examinations may be done. Prior medical records are considered suspect as they were conducted by doctors under the direct employ or control of Fisk and no independent records exist...
Round 'Em ALL Up! (Page 10) - Special Editorial for the Detroit Edition by Mr. J. J. Jameson, CEO of Murdoch-Jameson Papers America
I'm as mad as a mosquito trying to bite into statue boy's hide (they can't all be brilliant, folks) at the dodgy illegal detainment of the Kingpin. Don't get me wrong, I'm not soft on crime. And I'm sure that the super fat boy should be put in jail. But this is America and we're supposed to have due process...
Of course the other option is that we do apply the Class A rules to EVERYBODY who qualifies. That means that the Injustice Squat should be rounded up and thrown in jail for good, along with these other costumed freaks...
But no, I really don't believe we should put the Injustice Squat in jail without a fair trial. Dear readers, please consider how can this group just happen to be so much smarter than anyone else in the world that they figure out the secret to Kingpin's invisible headquarters? No way. I'll tell you what happened; they weren't getting their fair piece of the pie from Kingpin for doing his dirty work here in Detroit so they went after him. Since they worked for him, they knew right where to go and where to get in...
Page 1, April 8, Detroit News AM Edition
DAREDEVIL ALIVE
Swinging Devil Spotted in Chicago Skyline and Busting Crime - special report by Jeffrey Kowsloski of the Chicago Daily Bugle
Page 12, May 2, Detroit News AM Edition
FBI DIRECTOR RESIGNS UNDER PRESSURE
(AP) Louis J. Freeh, eight-year director of the FBI, will leave his post in June in a reflection of the continuing fall-out from the Origin fiasco...
Shortly after the military police action in Origin, under the civilian oversight of Freeh, it was revealed that the government had an opportunity to give safe passage to some dozen mutants fleeing the town that evening. Through a series of missteps, still not entirely clear, instead these mutants were "mistaken" as "rebels" (Freeh's words in a 2/28 press conference) and three were mortally wounded, with two others suffering permanent injury...
In late April it was revealed that the FBI had destroyed information pertinent to the 719 Society's inquiries communications to now-deceased members of the Origin government...
Page 1, May 12, Detroit News AM Edition
MAGNETO NARROWLY ESCAPES CAPTURE BY THE CAPTAIN, MUTANT TEAM
In a remote area of Nevada in the ghost town of Olinghouse there was some sort of confrontation between the mutant terrorist leader Magneto, The Captain, and a mutant team identified as the "X-Men". Apparently The Captain was on the trail of Magneto, having uncovered one of his many temporary bases of activity. Intrepid photojournalist Peter Parker captured part of the action as sources apparently led him to the scene. According to his eyewitness report, The Captain and Magneto struggled until Magneto used his powers to bury The Captain in a hale of ore. It is possible The Captain would have died as Magneto fled, but a strange craft appeared bearing the so-called X-Men. They burst from the craft, two figures rescuing The Captain while three others attempted to stop Magneto. Inexplicably Magneto was unable to affect the craft, but he sent one mutant who shot rays from his eyes into the ground while staving off a blinding windstorm to escape.
The X-Men did not discuss their involvement...
The team is apparently led by the eyebeam mutant who was referred to as Cyclops. Other members include a brawny figure with large hands and feet ("Beast"), two women of unknown name and power, and one man seemingly made of ice and with appropriate powers...
...remarked Parker, "Those blue-and-yellow costumes were the ugliest things I've seen in fifty years of mutant vigilante coverage."
Page 1, May 25, Detroit News AM Edition
KINGPIN ALLOWED INDEPENDENT MEDICAL EXAMINATION
(AP) The 2nd Federal Circuit Court turned over lower court rulings that Wilson Fisk, AKA Kingpin, was proven a mutant, thus opening the door to independent medical investigation and potentially a trial...
...Senator Hillary Clinton maintained she had "no involvement" in the crusade to ensure fair testing for Fisk, although she indicated she did support "due process and the rights of every individual." Since the Senate race in 2000 rumors have persisted linking Fisk to Clinton...
Page 1, June 14, Detroit News AM Edition
KINGPIN NOT A MUTANT, ON BAIL
(AP) After three independent medical tests, federal authorities have been embarrassed by findings clearing Wilson Fisk of any significant mutation. While some findings indicate "unusual" characteristics, none were outside the so-called "normal human index" established by the Health and Human Services Department. Attorney General John Ashcroft's office has issued no response. Assistant Attorney General of the Civil Rights Divison Ralph Boyd has admitted, "...yes, mistakes were made..." When asked about the resistance to independent testing, Boyd stated, "As everyone knows, we have a responsibility to the public in regard to dangerous mutants. We must segment them and we must ensure they can neither take hostages nor otherwise menace the innocent. When we have reason to believe an unregistered Class A is in custody, we take the appropriate steps. No one thinks we should have social workers visiting the Ultrakiller or Bogeyman..."
New York attorneys suffered another setback as well when local court denied their motion for holding Fisk without bail. Instead Fisk was released with a $2 million bail...
The trail is set to commence August 12...
June 24, Detroit News PM Edition
Dr. Doom a Threat to Democracy (Page 12) - Detroit Edition Guest Editorial by Charles Jameson, Reporter for the Detroit News
Recent maneuvering by Domovitch, AKA Dr. Doom, makes it clear that Russia aims to rebuild the USSR of old. His inciting of security fears in the Ukraine, taking advantage of the ouster of Yuschenko and thereby getting installed the puppet government of Sergei Oslovsky is eerily reminiscent of Hitler's pre-war revival of Germany's regional power. Worse, Doom plays the old Cold War game by threatening to build nuclear weapons if we so much as build a DEFENSIVE missile capability!
Don't take my word for it. Take the foremost spiritual leader of the Western World's as he warns, "religious unity before political reunification," in response to the Ukraine's lemming-like drive to rejoin Russia. This guy ought to know, having lived under the nazi and communist thumbs in Poland...
...and if you ask me America ought to put these grand-standing mutants to work and send them into Russia to derail any and all nuclear activities there and in the nearby shambles of governments...
excerpts from June 25, 2001 Detroit Free Press
The Captain Consulting to President? - Fritz Cunningham's Corner
While the administration downplays The Captain joining Bush for golf this prior weekend as "...just casual relaxation - everyone needs some time off," long-time Bush and The Captain observers believe that folksy explanation is as deceiving as claiming the Bush tax cut is for the working class. Instead, this increasing chuminess between Detroit's celebrity "vigilante" (now government-sanctioned) and the Commander-in-Chief can be seen as two ambitious men forming an alliance guranteed to keep them both on top. Parallels can be seen between this and the unholy alliance between Nixon and the All-American some 30 years ago...
...originally The Captain was restrained in his approach to Origin, striking a middle, protective ground. His turnabout in serving the government in possibly the most violent government-sponsored action against a non-criminal population (see April 12th's column, "Constitutionality and Communality") has led to a sudden prestige, with 320 more favorable articles written on The Captain since that time in major newspapers as opposed to only 17 in dissent...
excerpts from June 27, 2001 Detroit Free Press
Bush Staffs Up for the Right Wing - Fritz Cunningham's Corner
...and it's not just what the right likes to call "tree huggers" that better watch out. The differently-abled better watch their step, too. Anti-"mutant" activist Gerald Reynolds has been tapped to take over the Justice Division's Civil Rights Division. This is the guy who defended a New Orleans cop who killed two of the differently-abled by claiming that "unregistered mutants do not have human rights." He's campaigned against every state proposal to extend discrimination protection to any heretofore-unrecognized minority...
June 28, Detroit News PM Edition
"The Corporal and Monkey-Boy" or "All the Monkey's Mutants" (Page 10) - Editorial by Mr. J. J. Jameson, CEO of Murdoch-Jameson Papers America
TWO BOOBS, NOT CONSPIRATORS
Why does that commie Detroit paper - you know who I mean - admit it, you rolled your eyes and said to yourself, "How can he call them that?" BUT YOU KNEW WHOM I MEANT - anyway, why does that pinko rag get to report falsehoods as if they were news? Their recent fantasy, "The Captain Consulting to President?" exposes a new paranoia, one I formerly believed was beneath them...
The Captain was already a major newsmaker prior to the events in Origin, and in fact there weren't ANY articles in "dissent" against The Captain until AFTER he bashed some renegade mutants...
So let's get down to the matter at hand: The Captain and George Bush don't have the intellectual capacity to plot out a conspiracy to get the Republicans to vote for a tax cut!
July 18, Detroit News PM Edition
MAGNETO ATTACKS LAX (Front Page)
A sudden strike by Magneto on Los Angeles Airport was foiled by members of the Justice Squad and a new organization of mutants called the X-Men. The X-Men detected Magneto and upon an attempt to intercept were sent into disarray by the radical mutant terrorist's counterattack. The Justice Squad appeared momentarily on the scene, accompanied by an unknown apparent non-mutant referred to as "Dice". A dramatic aerial battle ensued...
July 20, Detroit News AM Edition
SAMMY WE LOVE YOU!
ABC Salutes Sammy!
The ABC Corporation wants its customers and the whole public to know that we're delighted to be associated with many of the same charities as the lovable Sammy the Slime of the Detroit Justice Squad! Further, we've publicly invited Sammy to join us in our efforts to fight poverty and hunger!
In the past, some mistakes were made in that prior managers felt that Sammy's unique relationship with ABC required further legal refinement. But the new ABC wants everyone to know that we acknowledge that mistake and now realize the best path forward. And that path forward is to work together with our friend, Sammy! After all, we care a lot about him!
July 23, Detroit News AM Edition
"Bread and Circuses" (Page 10) - Editorial by Mr. J. J. Jameson, CEO of Murdoch-Jameson Papers America
The Injustice Squat's "hail fellow well met" member 'Sammy' (what's he hiding with no other name?) has gone on a "feed the poor" crusade. Seems he's got some sort of religion. Meanwhile, he's a hedonistic food addict who lives like a class clown! But ABC and the media is all swooning over "Mr. Compassion"! Well, people liked Hitler, too, but thankfully everybody wised up eventually. Let's face it, folks, Sammy only cares about looking good and having people like him, which is no doubt a front for some sort of nefarious scheme by the mysterious Rodin, whom this reporter believes to be one of the dark masterminds orchestrating much of the Injustice Squat's newer "ooh we're good guys" image...
July 24, Detroit Free Press
"Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You..." - Fritz Cunningham's Corner
I would like to especially commend Sammy of the Justice Squad for showing the path to how supers can really help the people of this country - not by imprisoning people for stealing bread, but by helping them get the bread legally and safely. We need more of these costumed crimefighters to spend time on the people and less on crime. Did you know over 50 percent of Detroit's children are at risk of hunger!? ...
August 16, Detroit News PM Edition
"KINGPIN" TRIAL MARCHES ON (AP) (Front Page)
As the trial continues on, analysts agree that the erratic but penetrating testimony by Hamlet Laughton, Detroit's foremost private detective, has been damaging to Fisk's case. However, that same testimony has opened up another front in the legal war, as information about possibly illegal government conspiring has surfaced. In a case that has been topsy-turvy from its uncertain beginning from the time of Fisk's confinement as a public threat mutant to legal procedural questions threatening to toss out the case entirely, no one is making bets, though. As Durshowitz put it in a recent interview, "Guilt, innocence, all that aside, you know both sides are going at this like it's total war and this case could turn on something as trivial as a t that didn't get crossed!"
Rumors are circulating that a surprise hostile witness will be called, possibly even a member of the Justice Squad...
September 10, Detroit News PM Edition
MAYHEM AT MALL (Front Page)
A brief but deadly battle between the Justice Squad and mutant terrorists erupted at the Renaissance Mall today. Miraculously, no bystanders were seriously harmed, although one of the terrorists, "Brainswapper", was killed during the melee. The police have issued a statement that the Justice Squad was immediately clear of any undue force, given the terrorists' threatening approach.
(9/11 - See issue 26 for information on 9/11 in the X-Champions world)
September 20, Detroit News PM Edition
Kingpin Case Shutting Down (Page 3)
Among many unforeseen consequences of the recent focus on terrorism, Wilson Fisk has received some sort of "get out of jail" card as the trial is being shut down. The government refuses to give information, but apparently the man often said to be "Kingpin" has information about terrorist organizations or individuals and has made a deal. It's rumored Fisk will live under some form of witness protection...
...This decision, and its accompanying secrecy, has raised ire from several quarters. Mayor Giuliani refers to it as "an outrage of unprecedented proportions," lending credibility to those petitioning the government for some sort of redress or at least explanation...
October 11, Detroit News Special Mid-Day Edition
KINGPIN DEAD (AP) (Front Page)
In a stunning turn of events, Wilson Fisk AKA The Kingpin has been murdered by mysterious vigilante Wrath in Kingpin's witness protection "home" in Oklahoma. As it turned out, the Kingpin was masterminding some sort of criminal activity from that location, as military-grade and even more exotic weaponry and machinery was found at the site. Anonymous callers brought the attention of authorities in the wee hours...
...the Justice Squad was on the scene, apparently having uncovered the illegal doings and restrained the Kingpin, when the Wrath attacked...
October 30, Detroit Free Press
FREE PRESS REPORTER KILLED DURING INVESTIGATION (Front Page)
Friederich "Fritz" Cunningham, 2-time winner of Detroit Society of Professional Journalists' awards, was found dead in an alley near the Laughton Agency yesterday evening. He had apparently attempted to scale the building to study the strange dark cloud and weather surrounding it. Known for hard-hitting "crusader" pieces and never pulling his punches, Cunningham leaves behind a shocked and saddened news staff as well as a loving family, survived by both his parents and two brothers.
Many had predicted a similar fate for Cunningham given his dogged ways of following a story...
October 31, Detroit News AM Edition
"Send in the Army!" (Page 10) - Editorial by Mr. J. J. Jameson, CEO of Murdoch-Jameson Papers America
Now, almost a year ago, the US government sent in troops galore and The Overhyped Captain against some straggling mutants in the middle of nowhere. Today, in the middle of one of America's greatest cities, the heartland of the automotive industry (they make tanks, y'know!), we have a great threat and the government is doing what it does best...talking and studying!
A reporter and an innocent bystander have been killed by some weirdo freak event, no doubt triggered by mutant super "heroes", most likely the Injustice Squat or perhaps Slayer of Fantasies and her Scooby Gang. But the mayor tells us to "trust the system" and the US government says "not our place" and the statehouse says "We don't have all the facts." Well I got all the facts that any citizen needs! Deaths and bizarre weather that makes global warming look fun! And I think that republicans just want to make Mayor Rapper look like the fool he is, so they're leaving us to stew in our own juices!
Ladies and gentlemen, do you want your children's future to be filled with people disappearing off the streets and inexplicable black clouds over your heads!? Then we need to vote out Mayor D'oh Berry and we need LAWS to stop this sort of thing with no government double-talk...
November 5, New York Times
Iran Agrees to New Anti-WMD Program (Front Page)
Following rumors of a strange "dinosaur WMD" plot by rogue Iranian agents, the US and Iran governments today announced a new agreement aimed at limiting WMD potential in the region...
Origin a Festival Atmosphere (Front Page)
In stark contrast to the Origin of a year ago, the intended-annual Origin reunion is a carnival of sorts, and a very conscious attempt to rewrite the pages of history, portraying the mutants who "settled" Origin as an innocent and optimistic lot. As such, expectations for a repeat of last year's violence are low, and the initial gathering seems to bear this out. Aside from a few minor traffic issues and a single brawl one mile out of Origin, the watchword here is peace. The Army is stationed nearby but the government seems determined not to allow the events of early this year to recur...
Pandemonium in Origin (Front Page)
A sudden violent conflict developed yesterday, although the government continues to have no comment...
...while some reports indicate a conspiracy among many parties, including the government, to bring down the reunion, other reports deny this, pointing to the government's own distancing from The Captain's actions...
...in the end, the rapid cool-down of the situation and the lack of official government action has kept things calm, for now. Fears mount that visitors to Origin will decide to settle and revisit the conflict of a year ago, however early reports indicate that the bulk of travelers have already begun evacuating as the tents are closing down.
December 18, Detroit News AM Edition
EXPLOSIONS ROCK MAGNUS COMPOUND; MYSTERYMEN SAVE CITY (AP/Cindy Cunningham) (Front Page)
Reports are still coming in of a massive explosion leveling the famous Magnus compound outside Detroit. Dr. Magnus is presumed dead, and a subsequent explosion vaporizing the remainder of the estate early this morning is believed the work of the Metal Men, now in custody...
...Dr. Magnus had apparently created a device threatening the city with mass destruction. His motives and future plans remain unknown, but the quick action of little-known local super-team "the Mysterymen" prevented the device from attacking the city. In the ensuing struggle, the device somehow went off on the estate, killing Dr. Magnus as a result...
...with speculation that the Metal Men were involved in Dr. Magnus' scheme...
December 19, USA Today
Jerky Boys Believed Dead (Page 3)
In an odd turn of events, the government seems to be stonewalling about the presumed death of the notorious Jerky Boys. Several sources indicate the bodies of the Jerky Boys were found in Cleveland and immediately collected by government agents; the US government has given no comment, while state government has denied any "specific" knowledge, but indicated that "there is a need for security around this matter"...
...few will mourn the rude and crude "super clowns," who made enemies among the rich and famous. Donald Trump, after being taken for $50 and having an embarrassing crank call broadcast nationally, once vowed "If I get super powers, the first thing I'm doing is taking out those Jerky Boys!" J. Jonah Jameson called the event "beneath editorial attention, an inevitability."...
December 23, Congressional Quarterly
President Consults the Justice Squad (Page 1)
CQ has learned that President Bush has held a private audience with the internationally-known group the Justice Squad (Detroit). While details remain secret, sources close to the White House indicate that mutants rights was chief among the agenda. Those sources have stressed that the president was not seeking consultation, however it is known that the Justice Squad was admitted on extremely short notice and that the president juggled schedules to fit them in...
...it is also believed that this may be a part of the Bush program of organizing those with unusual capabilities into a more organized team of government deputies...
December 20, Detroit Free Press
Favors of the Rich (Page 3, teased on Page 1) - Carolyn Hayes
Just what is going on with industrialist and philanthropist Dr. Eliot Sihn of SihnTek? Readers are probably well familiar with the recent rumors swirling around his visit to the court house and arraignment on "matters not yet ready to be publicly released," but centering around suspicion that he has turned himself in for the murder of his mother's assailant, reputedly Vito Angelus, missing since March 22nd of this year. But why all the special favors? Some have claimed a linkage to national defense, given the work of SihnTek, but that normally does not dissuade releasing simple criminal investigation news. Others believe that this is related to Kingpin's death or the Justice Squad, given the known links from Dr. Sihn to the Squad. However, this reporter believes that the truth is far more sinister...that the government is complicit in the murder of Angelus, using that as an event on the road to indicting Kingpin, forcing Kingpin's hand...
...and the evidence seems to point out loud and clear that Dr. Sihn, if not the murderer, is covering up knowingly for the murderer and the government. This reporter's position is that Dr. Sihn better stop hiding behind his lawyers...
Pumpkins Saved! (Front Page) (AP)
In a bizarre story, the Justice Squad has stopped the shadowy and infamous Bogeyman from turning the town of Morton, Illinois, into his own pumpkin patch of slavery! Morton, home to much of America's pumpkin industry, was infiltrated by Bogeyman and a gang, who used advanced mind control techniques to take over the city and entrance its residents. Morton residents went on a crime spree, including in Detroit, to fund some sort of scheme of the demented flaming pumpkin...
DISASTER AT LAUGHTON AGENCY (Front Page) - Cindy Cunningham
Out of the skies, a metallic dragon-like structure attacked the Laughton Agency, Detroit's bastion of weirdness. The Justice Squad reacted quickly (lending credence to J. J. Jameson's questions as to how related these people may be to crimes), but could not prevent millions of dollars of damage to the well-known but secretive detective agency. Owner Hamlet Laughton could not be reached for comment...
(see issues 44/45 and 46/47 regarding the Incident of 1/19 in NYC)
Central Park's The Pond Drained (Page 5)
Among the many oddities of day-to-day life in post-Incident New York, the Pond was discovered drained! Rumors have it that Sammy of the Justice Squad drank all the water, but questions linger. A prompt government clean-up may be indication of a darker truth not meant for the public yet or more likely simply a need to keep things calm in the Big Apple as the city adjusts to new challenges...
"I'M A BIG DOOFUS!" (Front Page) - Cindy Cunningham
In what may be the strangest story of the political year, a picture of Mayor Bo Berry (see photo, left) has been released in which he is strangely dressed and a caption reads "I'm a big doofus!" While the mayor's office has denied any involvement and issued no comment on the authenticity questions raised, several evaluations indicate the photograph is no hoax. Speculation runs wild as to what may have precipitated the events of the photograph, including rumors of drug abuse...
March 25, Detroit Free Press
Mud-Slinging at Mayor Berry (Front Page) - Carolyn Hayes
A strange photograph of the mayor (see photo, right) has been released in which he wears a cone on his head and appears poised unusually. While it would seem a hoax, many are assuming the photo to be real, though most are enemies of the mayor. Mayor Berry has created a strong camp of opponents with his risky backing of supers being deputized...
March 28, Detroit News
Doofus Photo "Likely a Hoax" (Page 7) - Cindy Cunningham
After days of back and forth among experts, the newest tests have created uncertainty on the authenticity of the "doofus" picture to the point where the initial media outlet, Murdoch-Jameson Papers America has disavowed the story and, according to paper guru Jameson, believes "we've been played, frankly, as at this point the latest forensics indicate an elaborate hoax and given the unlikelihood that the mayor would be this asinine, even this mayor, we want to fess up and just say we've been had!" Jameson went on...
BOOM RESCUES LIVES, PROPERTY (Front Page)
The mutant-staffed international aid group BOOM minimized damage in recent tornadoes from Missouri to Maryland. Nearby, Storm managed to redirect many of the tornadoes into the bay, while Red Tornado appeared to, ironically, provide a buffer to many in a trailer park...
May 25, New York Times
HISTORIC RUSSIAN-AMERICAN AGREEMENT TO LIMIT ARMS (AP)
President Bush and President Domovitch today agreed to the largest arms reduction in history...
...this culminates a full-press political campaign by Domovitch to convince the world of his peaceful intent and his drive to join the Western community; earlier this month Domovitch signed an equally historic deal to a partnership with NATO to combat terrorism...
June 9, Detroit News, New York Times
Society Page (full column)
The Palmers Announce the Wedding of Jeremiah Dark and Suzanne Palmer
The Detroit/Poconos Palmers would like to announce that the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Palmer, Suzanne Palmer, Esq., to Jeremiah Dark, Esq., of New York City. Ms. Palmer is a semi-retired lawyer while Mr. Dark is a practicing criminal lawyer and New York City council member...
...those unable to attend are asked to make a gift to one of the following charities: BOOM; The Home for Wayward Paranormals; or AIDS Workers International...
July 14, Le Monde (English Translation)
LIBERTY SAVES LIBERTY (Front Page) - Robert Lechevaux/Reuters
On Bastille Day, the ruthless villain Blackguard attempted to assassinate Chirac, but in the presence of this reporter Liberty swooped down from the sky to pull Chirac out of the way and so rapidly one could not see grab Blackguard...
August 6, New York Times
Guatemalan Joined Twins Die (Page 7) (UPI)
One-year-old Guatemalan twins joined at the head pass away after family refused medical treatment, hoping twins would become "two superheroes in one"...
We Need Air Control! (Page 24) - Jody Peel
No, I mean it, we really need air control, all of us! Have you taken a helicopter around the Big Apple lately? Don't! I did, and it's an "interesting" exercise (in the same way as Survivor would be). Winged people flit around you at high speed, the chopper pilot starts cursing, the copter lurches (it's not supposed to do that!), and then suddenly a "ping" sound is heard as some joker from a nearby rooftop shoots his signature "pebble of doom"/"sand of contemplation"/whatever through his super-powered pea-shooter!
On a more serious note, this sort of new danger in the skies is what led to the death of traffic reporter E.J. Masterson, long-beloved "eye in the sky" for Channel 2...
...while it may not be popular, it is time for the City to create traffic laws for flying and to requrie these flying people to take tests...
August 25, TIME Magazine
FOCUS ON BOOM (Page 31) - Lisa Walters
The landmark mutant organization has already scored perhaps the greatest mark in mutants rights history with the sacrifice of the 17 New York City mutant firefighters who, working on behalf of BOOM, died fighting the intense fires of the West this summer. For many Americans, following as closely as it does on the events of 9/11, this symbolizes the equality and common plight of all humans, mutant and "normal"...
...perhaps the icing on the cake was saving priceless homes and antiquities in Prague during this month's flooding...
...and BOOM's internationalism is not to be discounted; the quick action following June 22's Iranian earthquake convinced people around the globe of the worldly approach of this group...United Nations linkage has been discussed but BOOM has to date strongly desired to remain "fully' independent...
Elvis House Party Chaos (Page 2) - Cindy Cunningham
The "house party" for the community of Farmington turned into a super-battle of non-trivial proportions as the radical mutant terrorist organization January Victory crashed the party and attacked the Justice Squad. While some found the event "exciting" and many claimed it was "contained", this reporter notes that some people were really wounded and that Nexus fixed it with his "magic". A convenient ability, it also allows these vigilantes to "fix" the news...
...while no complaints were filed and authorities indicated they were "aware" (without further specifics), it should be noted that no public documents attest to any sort of permits for this level of staged event...
September 1, Detroit Free Press
Spectacle at the Riverfront Casino (Page 7) - "Buzz" Sonderson
Party-goers at the big Elvis concert for Farmington were dazzled by the spectacle of a possibly-staged "super battle," replete with audience interaction and impossible stunts...Jo Campbell of Peoria stated, "This was the most thrilling thing I've ever seen!" while one of the "killed" participants marveled at the elaborate mirage...
IRAQ HAS WMDs? (Front Page) (AP)
Rumsfeld says the Bush administration has secret information
supporting its claims that Iran is close to developing a nuclear device
and "biological animal warfare"...